Love and Relationships

If you are considering a reading regarding love or relationships, I’d like to explain my position or perspective about a healthy, positive relationship.

First, I’d wager most requests for relationship/love readings have one or more of the following themes:

  • They are focused on another person rather than the questioner. The “other person” isn’t the one who is asking the questions, yet the questioner is devoting a lot of time and emotional energy on this person … and very likely, this “other person” doesn’t have a clue that anyone is asking for a reading involving them.
  • They shun the present in favor of the future. True love is always just around the corner and never arrives.  This “maybe tomorrow” focus almost assures tomorrow will never come.  Only the arrival of this desired relationship will allow happiness … and happiness can’t exist until it arrives.
  • They are preoccupied with someone who is a mere “character” in your book of life. This mythological person, often called “The One”, has permeated our popular romantic culture (movies, songs, books, blogs) and leads people to believe the answer to everything that’s wrong in their life will be satisfied when they find “The One.”  This person will be our lifesaver and rescue us from everything.
  • They are founded on wishful/magical thinking rather than reality or evidence. These rely on could, should, would. They’re grounded the “what if” part of a change in circumstances or feelings.  It’s hope beyond hope that the other person will have a change of heart.

We miss a lot of living in the preciousness and possible joy of “today” when we are so focused on the “what if” of tomorrow.  The readings reflected above take the emphasis off of the questioner and place it on a secondary character in your book … you are the primary character.

When your reading is focused on you, it empowers you and allows you to come from a place of true, unconditional love.  This is the basis of all other relationships.  Allowing yourself to be true to yourself and honor your heart’s desires (no settling allowed), will enable you to attract the person who will treat you with respect and as a whole person/equal partner rather than an incomplete project that needs to be fixed or controlled.

So what kinds of questions might you ask about a relationship?  Try these on for size:

  1. What is currently influencing my relationship?
  2. How am I blocking love in my life right now and what can I do to release this block?
  3. How can I overcome the ____ (challenge) I’m facing in our relationship?
  4. What is my partner mirroring back to me that I’m not really wanting to own? (i.e. what am I projecting here?)
  5. What can I do to help/allow this relationship to grow/flourish?
  6. What do I need to understand about myself that will allow me to bring my best to a relationship?
  7. On this new journey, what is the first relationship lesson we will encounter and how can I best equip myself to deal with it?
  8. What do I need to understand about ____ (name of love interest)?
  9. How can I do to put some fun and excitement back into this relationship?
  10. What can be done to improve my relationship with ____ (fill in the blank)?
  11. What can I learn from this relationship that will help me in the future?
  12. What is blocking love from flowing freely?(giving/receiving)
  13. What can I do to create the love life I truly desire and deserve?
  14. What are my relationship strengths (or weaknesses)?
  15. What is the best strategy to help me work through this situation?

The following thoughts from Byron Katie may help you put things in perspective and empower you to fully step into a healthy, mutually fulfilling relationship.

“How do you react when you think you need people’s love?  Do you become a slave for their approval?  Do you live an inauthentic life because you can’t bear the thought that they might disapprove of you?  Do you try to figure out how they would like you to be, and then try to become that, like a chameleon?  In fact, you never really get their love.  You turn into someone you aren’t, and then when they say ‘I love you,’ you can’t believe it, because they’re loving a façade.  They’re loving someone who doesn’t even exist, the person you’re pretending to be.  It’s difficult to seek other people’s love.  It’s deadly.  In seeking it, you lose what is genuine.  This is the prison we create for ourselves as we seek what we already have.”

 

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